Four Keys to Wellness — Librarian Lorelle

Purpose. Presence. Escape. Connection.

During this time of heightened social, cultural, and personal upheaval, these four ideas may just save your mental health. Let’s break it down:

Purpose. Something to do, and a reason for doing it.

Presence. Paying attention to your surroundings.

Escape. Living a little.

Connection. Reaching out from your comfort zone to connect with family, friends, and neighbors.

Since March of 2020, Americans have been experiencing a dramatic mix, part economic downturn, part social and cultural unrest, part anxiety about both knowns and unknowns. Throw in some social isolation, and these thoughts can lead to some pretty unpretty emotions that take a toll on our mental health. No matter where we are right now, we have all been there. All of the good advice in the world may not be enough to bring someone out of the deep mental fog of despair, confusion, and uncertainty. But we don’t need to get out of this. We just need to get through it.

I share the following as personal insights, not as a substitute for mental health counseling. I would advise anyone who’s experiencing mental health struggles to speak with someone who can support them, be it a family member, partner, friend, or professional counselor. There is no shame in seeking assistance sorting out your feelings. Life can offer us hard times as well as happy ones, and it’s during our low times that we need others who have already come through some darkness to support us. In fact, I can bet you that anyone you reach out to will be happy to help you, and you’ll both be grateful that you took the first step. For those looking to refresh their mental health, let’s consider four key concepts.

For those looking to refresh their mental health, let’s consider four key concepts

Purpose. Something to do, and a reason for doing it.

We’ve all had plenty of time at home these days, but may feel like we haven’t had the energy to do things we always said we would. That’s a common experience, and you’re not alone. Why beat yourself up over the languages you could have learned, the masterpieces you could have painted, or the sourdough bread you never baked?

Focus instead on defining and redefining your personal goals. Take something that’s important to you, and break it up into bite-size pieces. Take on a little bit each day, and document your work in an Excel spreadsheet or even on a piece of real paper with a pen or pencil. Without an explicit purpose to each day, life can often feel like one big infinity loop. Reframe your daily activities as signs of accomplishment.

If you’re seeking employment, explore your options, find resources (I recommend checking out your local library’s collection and digital offerings), find new ways to learn, and track your work. Small tasks end up feeling small when they’re done in a vacuum. Make them part of a larger game plan by simply tracking what you’ve done each day (I use an Excel spreadsheet). Make productivity your goal, and your successes will be adding up in no time.

Presence. Paying attention to your surroundings.

The idea of mindfulness and tuning in to the present moment is a key theme of modern wellness advice. And for good reason! Our minds can toss and turn our problems around ten different ways before we ever realize we are no longer the ones in control of our own mental gymnastics. So – make it easier on your mind by learning to pay more attention to things happening right now – your future self will thank you.

Pay more attention to things happening right now – your future self will thank you

In Dr. Arlene K. Unger’s book Calm: 50 Mindfulness and Relaxation Exercises to De-Stress and Unwind, the author recommends “Smelling the Coffee”. This exercise is designed “to open our eyes and all of our senses to the pleasures of everyday life…to engender an overall sense of calm and perspective”. On a piece of paper, make a list of the five senses: sight, smell, taste, touch, and hearing, excluding any which may not apply to you. During the day, take note of the delicious-smelling coffee shop, the vibrant color painted on a door, or the sound of birds singing in the trees. Train yourself to notice these things, make as many daily sensory notes as you’d like, and you’ll be experiencing daily life in a whole new way.

Finding new sounds, smells, tastes, and textures can become a sport. Photograph some of the things you notice and want to remember, or focus in and slow down using a pair of binoculars on your next walk outside. Even with many physical building closures or limitations, nature is always open. Take a stroll through nature and bathe in the present moment. Even if you’re not feeling mentally well. Especially if you’re not feeling mentally well.

Even when staying informed on the latest news, try to notice and name your feelings as they arise. Instead of letting feelings overwhelm you, let the news be a reminder to remain connected to yourself and others. You might say a prayer or make a donation in honor of someone you don’t know who’s passed on due to violence, or has lost a family member due to Covid-19. You might be inspired to take action, or donate to a cause that resonates with you. If you feel confused by what you’re seeing, you may feel inspired to learn more. Productive action is an effective antidote to both overwhelm and apathy. Even a little goes a long way.

Escape. Living a little.

This is a fun one. We all have our daily grind of what we have to do. Even if we value and enjoy the time we spend working or caring for others, we all need a break sometimes. Taking a break to live a little keeps us mentally strong and healthy.

Taking a break to live a little keeps us mentally strong and healthy

Back when “staying in” was an option, not a way of life, I found it hard to find time to give myself a break. Graduate coursework, working a customer service role part time, managing a household (apartment) of one, and connecting with my significant other and family took up most of my waking hours. When I was really busy, going to the gym wouldn’t happen as much as I’d wanted it to, and free time to read or create art seemed virtually nonexistent. This is the way many of us live week after week, and it is simply not sustainable.

Often, I would have to force myself to stop working to squeeze in some much-needed unstructured time. One day this past winter, I told myself that I wouldn’t remember doing two hours’ more work as much as I would getting a delicious hot peppermint mocha from Batter and Crumbs (an incredible South Philly vegan bakery) and heading to the Christmas Village in Center City to see the lights, skaters, and shopping. I was right. I ended up enjoying live music, seeing the light show at City Hall, and trying some delicious fragrant roasted nuts that I later went back and bought more of to gift to my boyfriend for Christmas. The moment you think you don’t have any time to escape just may be the very moment you need to do so.

The moment you think you don’t have any time to escape just may be the very moment you need to do so

“Escaping” in this sense doesn’t mean avoiding responsibilities, but balancing them out. Even the workaholics among us *raises hand* can find the time to simply enjoy. We just need to remember to fit ourselves into our own schedule. Even an hour or two of reading or watching a fun television show (RuPaul’s Drag Race, anyone?) can offer a satisfying escape during quarantine. Search YouTube with keywords “ASMR ambience” and “nature relaxation” to discover some seriously soothing virtual vibes. A simple walk outside can be both an escape and an opportunity for some much-needed movement, which goes a long way towards improving our mental and physical health.

Connection. Reaching out from your comfort zone to connect with family, friends, and neighbors.

This one is easier said than done (but it’s also easier than you think). While low energy may be sapping our desire to reach out to others, we must remember that we need each other now more than ever. If you don’t have the energy to pick up the phone to call a friend, send them an e-mail, or a text, or if you’re feeling creative – make and send them a card! I recently made and sent cards to my graduate school academic advisor, a friend who’d just gotten engaged, and a friend who’d just adopted a new furry four-legged family member. For me, making cards is fun and creatively fulfilling. It doesn’t sap my energy just thinking about it, like making a phone call or even sending an e-mail might. Putting effort and attention into making something for a friend shows you care, and you will probably get a touching voicemail or text thanking you for your thoughtful surprise. Conversation: sparked!

Many people find connection to their communities through volunteering, group fitness classes, or local meetings and events. See if you can find ways to do these same activities online. Offer to volunteer virtually, participate in a Zoom exercise session with your favorite workout buddies, and find virtual versions of interesting community events online. It’s also an election year, so consider signing up to make calls for a local candidate you support. You can do this right from your home, and I guarantee you will feel like you’ve made a difference.

Falling in to the sit-scroll-shop pattern isn’t doing our mental health (or our bank accounts) any good. When you shop for necessities, consider doing so at local businesses. Buy fruits and vegetables at a farmer’s market (don’t forget your reusable bags and mask), and breathe life into special celebrations with party goods and decorations from a local shop. As long as you are physically distancing and wearing a mask, any time you are out of the house can be an opportunity to visually see that you are not alone, and know that we are all in this together.

Any time you are out of the house can be an opportunity to visually see that you are not alone, and know that we are all in this together

It almost goes without saying that your local library is there for you during these truly trying times, but I will say it anyway! Libraries have continued to offer incredible live virtual programs, digital books, music, movies, learning databases, and much more to their communities throughout the entire shutdown. Libraries have been working on opening up mindfully and responsibly, so that we can all be safe while still taking advantage of great services and resources. Check out your local library’s website, and do some deeper digging to find books and resources on mental health and wellness, including tools to find your next job opportunity or plan your next outdoor adventure.

Remember to take it one step at a time, and take it easy on yourself. Don’t beat yourself up for falling prey to the darker emotions. Simply acknowledge them, and hang on. You’re worth it. I hope this simple list will inspire you to take a step back and find new ways to incorporate wellness into your life in small ways. It may take time to adjust to new ways of thinking and being, but there has never been a time like the present to take the first steps.

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